Posted 20 hours ago

The Best Ever Book of Newcastle United Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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A thief has broken into Newcastle United's trophy room where their precious MFI made trophy cabinet proudly stands. As the season dragged, McClaren hauled the creativity out of Wijnaldum, the fire out of Colback, the skill out of Mitrovic, the guts out of the team.

He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Newcastle United supporter. The first man set off, but … QUACK QUACK … he stood on a duck’s foot, and a horrible old woman with a hunch back was waiting for him ! And, if you don’t burst out laughing from at least one Newcastle United joke in this book, there’s something wrong with you. But it doesn't mean we can't tell some jokes about the city, its rivalry with Sunderland and the football team, can it? He said : ‘I can get in my car in the morning, I can drive all day and at the end of the day I’m still on my land !

The Newcastle United Fan brought a car door, because if it got too hot she could just roll down the window! in some cases chants are obviously unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated, including racist songs, sexist songs towards females in attendance, those that are directly offensive to individuals, or a controversial political statement. Suddenly, the driver saw a NUFC supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the barman relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

Come the first day of the season he went back to the forest to get his season ticket but when he got there he found that someone had stolen . My advice, Sir’, said the doctor, ‘Is to get a black bin liner, and put some rotten vegetables in the bottom of it.

We also come from an area of the country that struggles with poverty and unemployment, equally feeling the full force of Thatcher’s economic policies, so not difficult to appreciate that it is tongue in cheek and a wind-up, not as though we come from a well-off region. The third man picked his way carefully through the ducks … and was met at the other end by a beautiful shapely blonde ! He said to the wife : ‘Those fifteen kids we’ve got, there’s something not right … get them lined up ! Geordie phoned his GP requesting a house visit as his piles were so painful that he was unable to walk. I've always been dubious of that because of the hours it would take just to do the driving, never mind spend any time on the ground recording or playing a show.

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